Pure Decision: Feel My Heart
by DaniHime86
Summary: Takes place after episode 12 of ES. Haru comes back from Australia and finally had clarity on what he wants to do. But after a stray thought about his friend's baby sister and club manager crosses his mind, all that clarity goes right out the window and Haru is stuck with a whole other problem entirely. Now what is he going to do? [HaruxGou]


**A/N: So I know I promised some of my readers not to write anything else until I finished the stories I already have, but unfortunately I had to break that promise. I am still working on 'Fighting Fate' and 'Misplaced Espada', but due to life being how it is I haven't been too inspired for quite a while now. But after getting stuck in Jury Duty for the past several weeks, and after watching the amazing show 'Free!', I couldn't help but write this.**

**This takes place right after episode 12 and before episode 13 aired. Pretty sure I wrote this in a span of 2 or 3 days. I'm still obsessing over that show. And I keep wanting to cry whenever I think of it's ending. It just still doesn't feel totally finished for me. But I digress. The name "Pure Decision: Feel My Heart" is the name of song 29 (Pure decision) on the Free! ES OST disc 1 and song 23 (Feel my heart) on disc 2. I pretty much listened to both tracks over and over while typing this out. Tatsuya Kato did another amazing job on the OST again, just like season 1. But after listening to these songs, it just fit too perfectly. Well I won't keep you any longer. Please read and I hope you enjoy. :)**

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><p>Haru had decided. He knew exactly what he wanted to do. Had to do. Swim. Rin was right. Makoto was right. Nagisa and Rei were right. Kou was right. Even that snob, Yamazaki, was right. He had to swim. He was meant to do what Rin was doing. Meant to have the same dream. An now he knew what his dream was. It was all crystal clear now.<p>

He had spoken to no one but Rin of this epiphany. Which was also because Rin was physically there with him in Australia for said decision. Australia had been a very different experience. Seeing Rin's house parents and sharing a bed for one. That had been **most** awkward. H would've much rather shared a bed with his sister. Not that he could say that out loud.

With Rin, being the over baring, overprotective "onii-chan" that he was, Gou would be lucky to not end up in a convent. Which really would be a shame when you think about it. Why shouldn't a beautiful young woman be allowed to have a boyfriend if she so chose? Rin really was quite unfair. True, his sis-con for her was pretty intense. Deep down Haru wouldn't be surprised if his good friend might even love his sister a _little_ more than normal.

He did, however, hope that was not the case. It was bad enough that both Mikoshiba brothers had a fence crush on the younger Matsuoka. In fact, it really just dawned on him how popular Gou was with the opposite sex. He began to wonder if maybe they all had a little "thing" for the Iwatobi Swim Club manager.

_Damn!_ Why was he thinking about this all now? He just spent the last few days with his good friend in a foreign country, to **FINALLY** get his head straight; and now he was thinking about this! What the hell?! Kou was always a very special girl. He'd always noticed her, even when they were all just kids.

And then last year. In her red yukata. She looked SO cute! _Damn it, damn it, DAMN IT! Why now?!_ He finally had his mind clear, and now this! Did he like Gou? Maybe more than was normal for friends? God only knew how she felt about him. Did she like him too? For all he knew she liked someone else. But who?

Certainly not either Mikoshiba. Of that he was sure. They only seemed to annoy her. Plus she couldn't even remember their names half the time. Not Nagisa either. They were more like siblings than her _actual_ sibling.

Although they did share a moment at his house over her detailed regime and nutritional guide for the club members, he didn't think Rei would be it either. Whatever "it" even was. So that left Makoto, himself, Yamazaki, and heaven forbid, Rin.

It did seem like she had a bro-con almost as bad as his sis-con. But then that might simply be because of the several years they spent apart, as well as the fact that he still wasn't really around for her. She seemed quite close to Yamazaki too. _Very_ close. But whether that was a brotherly affection or not, he really couldn't be too sure.

Yet another reason to dislike brunette boy.

And then there's Makoto. This would make the most sense. Captain and club manager. They rarely fought, if ever. But same could be said about his best friend and him as well. Makoto was very easy to get along with. Very understanding and kind. Plus he always seemed to be very supportive of Gou. Himself as well as everyone. As was the taller boy's way.

But when it came to himself and Gou, Makoto seemed to be more attentive and supportive than usual. Since he and Makoto were best friends, that made sense. But what of Kou? It may have simply been because they were captain and club manager and their support system was key to running a successful club. But what if it was more? What would he do if it was more?

What would he do if it meant more? Haru wasn't sure how he would feel if their relationship might mean more than close friends or captain and manager. He didn't know why, but for some reason the thought of his best friend and the younger Matsuoka having a closer relationship than normal friends disturbed him greatly.

It was bad enough that he and Makoto had had a very heated argument before he left for Australia with Rin. He still hadn't quite gotten over that. What would Makoto possibly being in love with Kou do to their remaining friendship?

Makoto would always be his best friend no matter what. Always be able to read him better than any other. But what would happen if you added a girl to their mix? This thought had never crossed Haru's mind before.

So why was it now? If and when Makoto ever got a girlfriend, and seeing how handsome the green eyed boy was it was very likely one would come into play; Haru would still be close to Makoto and support him in anyway he could. But what if that girlfriend ended up being Kou?

Haruka felt his chest tighten. What was this feeling? The last time he felt such unease was at regionals the night before he would swim the 100m free. How was it that he could finally figure out what he was meant to do. Finally, he knew his path. What his future held, but now he was confused about another issue and matter entirely.

Taking out his cellphone, which he rarely carried on his person, he scrolled through his contacts until the desired name was highlighted. Hitting enter, he lifted the receiver to his ear and waited.

"Moshi moshi?"

A sweet feminine voice rang in his ear. The knot in his chest growing tighter.

"Kou," he replied.

"Haruka-senpai? Are you back?"

"Yes."

"That's good. I hope onii-chan behaved himself. Did you have a good time in Australia?"

"Yes. I found what I was looking for."

"I'm glad. I was really worried about you senpai. We all were. So have you decided what you want to do?"

"Yes, I have. Kou, I'm going to swim."

"I knew you'd find your way. I'm so happy for you. Are you ready for Nationals?"

"I think I am now. But we'll have to practice a little before hand to make sure the exchanged are still where they should be."

"Sounds good. I'll make sure to let everyone know and we can have everyone meet up tomorrow, if that's not to soon for you?"

"No, that sounds fine." A few moments of silence passed. "Kou."

"Yes?"

"There's something important I wanted to ask you."

"Ok. What is it Haruka-senpai?"

"Can you meet me? I think it would be best asked in person."

"Alright."

—-

"Harkua-senpai, what's up? Is everything ok?" Gou asked, panting as she ran to the blue eyed boy.

It didn't take her too long to reach the beach front were the swim club would sometimes loiter after practice. Haru looked at her. He gave her a moment to catch her breath. Haru stared at her. She really was quite lovely and she seemed to glow with the setting sun.

She was **beautiful**, Haru concluded. If he didn't address these feelings now, he wasn't sure if he ever would. After just clearing his head of one problem, Haru was damn sure that he wouldn't go through anything like that again.

He wanted everything in his life to be as clear as his decision to continue swimming. So that left him with the obvious need to make things clear with Kou. He needed to be sure of her feelings as well as his own. Gou looked up at Haru from her kneeled position.

Haru continued to stare at her. Trying to collect his thoughts. Gou stood up straight and looked into Haru's eyes. Haru reached his hand out to graze his fingers on her cheek as he moved some of her hair from her face. Gou slightly blushed at the contact.

"Kou," he gazed into her beautiful burgundy eyes.

"How do you…" he tapered off, still trying to collect his thoughts.

"What's the matter Haruka-senpai?"

Gou looked at him with concern and confusion on her face. Haru couldn't take it anymore. He _had_ to hold her. Try as he might to keep up his calm and cool facade, Haru grabbed for Gou and held her close to him in a firm and tight hug.

"I can't stand it. I can't stand this!"

Gou was very confused at this point. She wasn't sure what was going on. Haru seemed to be fine over the phone. Why the sudden change? She thought he would be alright now after his recent trip with her brother. At least that's how Rin made things seem when she asked how his trip with Haru went. What had happened in that short span of time between then and now?

"Whats the matter Haruka-senpai? Please tell me! What happened? Let me help you! I'll do anything I can. So please tell me? What's going on?"

Haru's hold on her only tightened more. Burying his face in her silky hair, he took in a deep calming breath and closed his eyes.

"I finally found my dream and then this happens! What am I supposed to do? Tell me Kou?! What am I supposed to do?!" Haru all but yelled in desperation.

He never before had put so much thought into who or what Gou Matsuoka was to him. But then he shares an awkward moment with her brother wishing he'd instead shared it with her, and everything goes from clear to clouded all over again! What the hell?!

He continued to hold her close to him. He wanted and needed this reassurance that she was there for some reason. Gou tried to look up at him.

"What's the matter Haru? Please tell me?" Gou said in just above a tender whisper.

At hearing his name without the formalities and honorifics she usually used, Haru was able to collect himself even just a little. He pulled back a bit to look into her eyes moving a hand to cup her face again. His other arm secure around her waist, hand to her back.

"I don't know when or how it happened Kou, but I just can't take it anymore. Everything was clear and normal when I came back. Then a random thought crosses my mind and I can't think straight, but for a whole other reason entirely. Is there someone you prefer to others Kou? I mean, I know you have an affinity with you brother. Please just don't say it's beyond normal sibling affection?

"And I know you're close with all of us in your own way. But please Gou, I can't take the thought of someone else holding you like how I am now! I don't think I could take it! I'm sure that your relationships with both Rei and Nagisa are just platonic, at least I hope so. But I still can't be sure about Yamazaki and Makoto! Tell me Gou, please? It would only give me more cause to despise Yamazaki if he claimed you. And I don't know what I would do if it was Makoto! I'd probably end up hating my best friend! I don't want that. Please Kou. Help me! I've never felt something like this before. Especially for anything but water. It disturbs me greatly to be acting like thins, but I don't know what to do."

The look on Haru's face said it all. He was so desperate and confused. Gou's heart was melting. Could this really be happening? With Haru of all people? It was like a dream.

She'd always been drawn to the water obsessed young man. One might think it might even be safe to say, that as much as she loved the bodies and muscles of Rin, Makoto and Sosuke; Haru's were special. She'd get all sparkly whenever she saw them. And her onii-chan and taller boys' bodies were nothing short of Devine art, she'd always liked Haru. Always tried to be close to him in whatever way she could. But the dark haired boy always seemed oceans away from her reach.

If anything, she even wondered if he and Makoto might be gay with each other. That was the thing about the swimming world. One never really be sure. It was sort of like what she heard about musical theater that way. But she still held hope that maybe one day something might bring them closer. She just didn't anticipate this happening. So in response to his heart felt tangent, Gou tentatively wrapped her arms around Haru's back and snuggled her head to his chest near the crook of his chin and neck.

"Is this really happening? Or is this just some wonderful dream? Oh Haru."

She snuggled closer to his chest, trying to get as close to him as was possible. Haru's eyes opened wide and then he hesitantly wrapped both his arms tightly around her. Closing his eyes and then resting his cheek to the top of her head. His chest grew tighter and his heart began to race, much like how he felt when swimming. They stayed like this for awhile longer. Neither wanting to disrupt the moment.

Haru felt a sense of peace. Not only had he found his dream, but now he was holding the girl who had gained his affection. Having any romantic relationships never crossed Haruka's mind before, but in the matter of a single thought, everything changed. Yes, Haruka Nanase wanted to swim. Possibly even professionally. No not possibly. He _did_ want to swim professionally and on an international level much like Rin. He wasn't yet sure if that meant in Australia with his friend or in Japan at one of the many schools that had been scouting him. He was leaning towards the former. Especially if his display at retinals meant anything. He'd froze and stopped swimming mid-race.

But despite all of that, he knew Kou was meant to a part of that future. Whatever that future may be. She'd always been a great support system. Doing everything that was in her power as club manager to get all the boys at a level they didn't think of before. Whether it was her silly motivational count down notes written in immaculate calligraphy, training regiments, joint practices and more recently their nutrition. Always helpful. She would push them to do and be their best.

If Miss Amakata was there, she may even reference some saying she heard… something along the lines of… "behind every great man, is a great woman." And the saying was very true for Gou. She was a great woman. A perfect help mate and the ideal girlfriend to a swimmer like him.

Haru pulled away a bit to look down at the girl in his arms. Staring into her beautiful eyes. Reaching his hand to her face.

"Will you be my girlfriend Kou?"

Haru gently asked, stroking her cheek with his right thumb. Gou'd face lit up and she smiled.

"Of course I will Haruka-senpai!"

And with that, Haru leaned down and rested his lips to hers. Closing his eyes. _So soft_. Everything about her felt soft. He held her closer and they depend their kiss. After a few minutes and before their make out session could get steamy, they pulled away and looked at each other. Smiling. Haru began petting and caressing Gou's face again. Still smiling down at her. Then Gou looked slightly worried.

"How will we tell onii-chan?"

_Oh Shit!_ He was so preoccupied with being sure Kou reciprocated his feelings, he forgot about her crazed, sis-con, overprotective and potentially homicidal brother. With a nervous laugh, he looked at her again. Face growing paler.

"M-maybe we should keep this to ourselves for now. At least until _after_ Nationals and the summer is over?"

Gou smiled, looking up at him. Melting his heart.

"I think that may be the best choice for now. We wouldn't want anything violent happening to you. Especially after your euphony."

Haruka sweat dropped, then rested his forehead to hers.

"This is true. I think I'm finally ready. For the future."

Haru smiled at Gou again and kissed her once more.

"My future. A new start. To be free and swim. And a future with you."

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><p><strong>AN: There you have it. Not sure if I want to continue this or just leave it as a one-shot like I originally intended, but since so much happened in ep 13 I could give it a shot and try to make it a two-shot maybe. That'll probably depend on all of you who read and review. Lemme know either way. But I hope you guys all liked it. I love Gou and Haru. But I also love Gou with Sosuke and Makoto too. But this one just seemed to write itself. And deep down Haru x Gou is pretty big in my heart. But that's just me. :)**


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